3 Ways to Cool It

We likely have said, done, or emailed something in anger that we wished we hadn’t. We are human. But there are ways to help us all cool it when the conversation gets hot.

No one makes us feel angry, sad, frustrated, or anything.

Super annoying, isn’t it? It’s much easier to blame others when we feel bad. We choose our emotions from the thoughts we think. Is your stinking thinking heating your temper? Try these three strategies to stay level-headed.


1 – Know your triggers.

Talking to me like I’m stupid. Oh yeah! Brain boils, and I cannot hear you anymore.

Lying to me. Yup, that’ll do it. Sneaky people drive me crazy.

Everyone has triggers. They key is to know yours. Then decide who you want to be the next time that happens. I’d recommend step two…


2 – Be respectful even when you don’t want to.

Oh, I know sometimes we all want to tell people what we really think while we are boiling angry. But will that help? 

Being assertive will help you and the other person come to a solution, and you won’t explode in anger. It makes relationships stronger and helps people to trust you. The keys to being assertive are to ask questions first, use a respectful tone, and focus on a solution, not being right. I’ve written about this before.


3 – Reflect and grow.

After a conflict arises, ask yourself: What did I do well that I want to do again? What can I do differently to stay calm and respectful next time? Do I need to apologize to anyone for my behaviour?

I am better at staying cool when a fireball of anger is burning inside than I was last year or ten years ago, but we always have room for growth. (Just ask my husband!)


What are you going to do to cool off before anger burns your relationships at work and home?


Catherine Doucette MEd, CTDP is a Training and Performance Consultant who delivers customized business communications and leadership programs that produce measurable results. 



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